Toilets of the world, Unite!

I never wrote this when I was in Germany, but I wrote it in my head, and now in my blog.

When You Gotta Go:

So, as you travel the world, you'll find many cultural differences...the food, the languages, the scenery and the toilets (this guy has a made hobby of photographing them). This particular model was a favorite in Eastern Europe a few years ago, and can still be found in some very special bathrooms. The "Poo Shelf" as it has lovingly been nicknamed, acts as, well I think you get the picture. The nice thing about this is it can stink up the bathroom even faster than usual. Also, if you are prone to dropping things into the toilet, this will give you a chance to pluck them out with ease.

So, how to proceed when in a non-native land and you "gotta go?" Find out the common signs, words and symbols for die Toilete, the crapper, the "loo." Learn how to ask where it is. Then, learn how to interpret the answer...good luck with that. One time, the answer was "there isn't one." Then, I proceeded to go down the hall to the left.

OK, good. Congratulations, you have to pee and you made it to the bathroom. Now, don't get hasty once you're there. Check to see how the door locks (if it does, can you get back out?), will you have to hold it shut from sitting on the pot? Importantly, is there toilet paper? Finally, do you know how to flush the toilet? Assuming you aren't in an outhouse. You may think these last two are no brainers but have a couple beers and find the toilet, we'll see how many of you look for the toilet paper before you sit down. I had more than one episode of the transfer to the next stall, pants around my knees. Not a pretty site. The worst was once I spent a good 5 minutes trying to figure out how to flush the toilet. It ended up being on the wall over to the side, hidden behind 2 doors with combination locks. Seriously though, I got worried I was not going find the flusher. In Germany they were all different...as if the engineers kept trying to make it a better button, more accessible, prettier maybe.

I think I've covered most of the basics. Search the web for more on this topic. There is plenty of material out there. Start here.

Want to share? Leave it on the bathroom wall of my comments below.

Spring Sprung

Spring has sprung,
it's just begun
with tulip heads and arms
sprouting up out of the ground
frozen and silent all winter
snow covered
frost filled
spring comes to melt it all away, soften it up
and make way for tulips
bleeding hearts
daffodils and iris
crocus and earthworms

the birds are singing
they are doing more than singing
hot and heavy, they breed their way into the new year
the other day I saw two sparrows getting it on
no kidding
she wasn't playing hard to get

the ducks and geese return
babies line up in a row
yellow fluff the color of daffodils

spring softens us up
softly butters us up
with sun and rain
melts away the winter gray
puts your long underware away
spring has sprung
it's just begun

Montezuma's Castle

Two hundred years after the Notre Dame cathedral was built, "Montezuma's castle" was built sometime in the early 1300s by a native indian tribe that lived and farmed in the area. Nearby, there is a well that produces 1.5 million gallons of water a day. It flows up from the ground and down the creek. So, imagine these people living in the desert, the West is wild and they hunt, gather and farm corn, beans and cotton...After thinking about this scenario for awhile, I decided I would have liked the job to gather salt. 10 miles away is a salt deposit that the natives would use and trade to other tribes around the southwest. Imagine how valuable the salt was in the middle of the desert. I would have filled my pockets.
This sycamore tree and me were meant to be.

Desert Rain & Snow!

The desert was without rain for 143 days(told to us numerous times), but on Saturday the drought was over with a whopping 2 inches. It rained literally all night and all day. We spent the day at Taliesin West, the Frank L. Wright desert creation. What a fantastic place that is. Frank wasn't always known for his engineering skills, and in the desert you can build with pretty much anything. There isn't enough water for mold. But on that day, the roofs were leaking. While we were sitting in the living room, I noticed a persistent drip right next to the grand piano. I think the bucket guy was napping on the job. There was wet carpet numerous places.

So, the next day after the clouds cleared, snow covered the mountains. It is so interesting that it can rain one place and snow a mile away. Turns out that 30 boyscouts got caught in 3 feet of snow up in the mountains and had to be air lifted out. I'm sure that made for some good storytelling around the next campfire. We drove out a couple miles to get a good picture of it, and the road through the mountains was a steady stream of cars. Everyone and their grandparents flocked to the mountains that day armed with cameras and carrots.

The Canyon

Here it is, in all it's wind and glory, the Grand Canyon. Stretching 10 miles across and a mile down, it's one gigantic gorge. It was cold and windy that day. But we missed the snow which came the next day. We drove home in 8 inches of snow and low visibility. It was quite a trip. All I have to say about it now is, I wish my grandpa would get his hearing aids fixed.
This is the train to the canyon from Williams, AZ. It's a cool looking way to travel. We went by way of my grandparents van.

Dentists for Everyone (just about)

It seems there is a large concentration of dentists in this Mexican town. My grandparents have both had extensive dental work at one of these shops and are very happy with their teeth. My own dentist frowned a big toothless frown when I asked what he thought of this phenomenon. What else would he do though? Americans are flocking to have crowns, partials, and total dentures made in these shops. Imagine having 7 trips to the dentist in two days, and crossing the U.S. border to do it. What a deal!We decided this is the poster boy for dental work in Mexico. Despite how many dentists there are and how dirt cheap it is, I guess it's all relative. He was one of the street sellers with hundreds of gold chains for sale in his hands.

Mexico

After driving 4 hours, we made it to a border town between Mexico and California. We spent the day there shopping and looking, then drove home.
These shoe shine boys were all smiles as they worked hard transforming the old people's tennis shoes. I saw them later with a pocketful of ones as they biked off to school (which starts at 1pm).
This is the essence of a border town in Mexico. It seems that people walk across the border for a few hot sellers. Cheap healthcare, cheap smokes and liquor. You can be your own pharmacist in Mexico. Whatever your needs, it's there. Viagra for grandpa, Zoloft, Zantac...the men call from the sidewalks to beckon you into the stores. Need your drugs?
The woman at the eye doctor worked harder than anyone I saw. With calm patience, she greeted every old person that came in the door for a cheap eye doctor appointment ($20 or $10 with the purchase of glasses). She adjusted glasses and answered questions all day long. Just watching made me tired.

Gold Mine

This picture is a fine example of old school meets new school. If you look carefully at the top, you will recognize that this old windmill now doubles as a cell phone tower. In the middle of the desert, you have to be clever...they don't just erect towers all over the place like we do.
This is one of my favorite pics so far. I just love spurs and jeans. The cowboys had extra little bells on the spurs that tinkled as they walked by...

We went to the flea market. The parking lot was full of cars, everyone and their cousin is there from Minnesota, Iowa and Wisconsin. Those midwestern snowbirds love a good bargin. When we took this picture the cowboy who was selling hats said we looked like an poster for Brokeback Mountain.
Speaking of gay cowboys...we ran into this guy up at an old gold mining town later in the day. A group of wannabe cowboys perform a street shootout every hour. The guns were above and beyond loud. Everyone was dressed up for the occasion. It was a good show with my ears plugged. One of the rare instances you wish you could just turn off your hearing aids.

Sun and Desert Sands

Well, we left home at 5:15 am, and made it to AZ. We've already logged 3 hours at the pool. I have a little pink and freckles on the nose. It's great.

The pool is 89 degrees and when we left, the "afternoon" crowd was just starting to come...water noodles, visors and sunglasses in hand, the snowbirds float in small social circles, chatting. I overheard talk about what's for dinner, grandkids, and getting the best deal on prescription drugs. They are all super nice here. Gotta love midwesterners.

We hope all is well in the colder world we left this morning. Sending you all warm wishes of pink freckled noses.

1956

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1956#Events
Here is a few highlights:

June 29: Marilyn Monroe marries playwright Arthur Miller
July 4: The Ant Farm was invented at a picnic
August 17: West Germany bans the communist party
April 19: Grace Kelly marries the Prince Rainier III of Monaco
Feb. 26: Elvis enters the American music charts with Heartbreak Hotel

Born this year: Joe Montana, Tom Hanks, Judy Davis

Died this year: Alfred Kinsey, Bela Lugosi, A. A. Milne

50 Years

This is my lovely grandparents on their wedding day. This year they celebrate 50 years of marriage. Can you imagine? I can hardly imagine being alive for 50 years, not to mention married!! What does it take to be married that long? I am guessing they will say a good sense of humor, but I will ask them and report back. Last night, they had a celebration in their retirement park for all the 50 year anniversaries. There were 8 couples celebrating. They also have another party for the 60 year couples. It's just amazing to me that these are annual events at their park. Every year they have a party to celebrate the people who are nuts enough about each other to stick it out for 50 and 60 years.

We will go visit them in Arizona this Friday for 10 days. 80 degrees, sunny in the desert. Grapefruit growing in the backyard and water aerobics every morning!

Music High

I am currently addicted to the Wailing Jennys. The album is called 40 days and it is the sweetest. For anyone who cared.

My parents are here for the weekend to visit. It's nice to have them.

Hold on for next week's adventure to the land of the exotic snowbirds!

Colder than Cold

Only in Wisconsin and maybe Minnesota could it be 53 degrees on Tuesday and now minus 5 (windchill -10) on Friday. That's just too much for a body to handle. I am about to venture out into the cold to a dance party at a friend's house, a few blocks away. I think people weren't really built for this weather. I plan to bundle up and wear boots and even despite my preparation, I will likely swear and complain about it most of the way there. I just can't let cold like this pass by easily. Not that cursing at it makes one feel any warmer. Even the warmest thoughts I can conjure can't touch how cold it is. Sunbathing in Mexico, saunas in Germany, hot springs in Colorado....all the places I would rather be. Remind me why I live here????

Snow and more Snow

Snow Day here!! I bundled up to shovel and take pictures. Everyone was out and about...I saw a many people cross country skiing down the street. That was the only sensible way to be out and about. As a personal rule, I don't get in a car on days like this. I don't need to go anywhere I can't walk to. We have over 12 inches and it's still snowing.

Sweet Days

Sunday we took the day to drive out into the country and head to Devil's Lake. That is such a sweet, sweet place. Carved out by glacial ice so long ago, it remains untouched in a way. It was just us and the ice fishermen. We ran across the frozen lake and I only fell once, banging my knee hard. It's OK now. Nice to get out of town once and awhile.
On Highway 12 is the famous Dr. Evermore. Drive through and you will discover the inner workings of a madman genius. His sculptures are both eloquent and big pieces of junk to be appreciated.

The Snow Bird

Soon we will journey to the land of the exotic snowbird, Arizona. Flocks of these rare birds gather by the dozen around swimming pools and shuffleboard tables in the desert each year. They are known to have youthful qualities, some possessing the ability to hike many miles in the desert despite being an ancient species. They do strange dances with each other, the polka, daily water aerobics. The "I just got a new knee" walk is particularly characteristic of many of these snowbirds.

Keep your eyes and ears peeled for more reports on these rare birds.

Internet boredom

I'm bored. Sitting on my computer attempting to be entertained by the internet. This is what I've found.

Celebrity Mugshots are always funny.

Check out Noel Bush, she was just trying to get something for the pain of being the niece to our dear president! Too bad her daddy Jeb couldn't write her a real prescription.

Even Bill Gates has a mug shot! I'm starting to feel left out!

Where I ate lunch today. I had a burger. It was quite tasty.

A Madison favorite has hit the road for a tour. The Kissers are touring Texas and New Orleans!

Now, onto something funny. Cats have hilarious antics. Maybe you prefer dancing dogs...??

There in my garden!

There was a virgin siting in my backyard! Isn't she lovely? She is so inspiring for my garden. She looks as if she is willing the flowers to grow (which they are!). It's cold again now here, so winter is the season, for now. And the flowers will have to wait.

Slipper Club

Every Thursday night at the Slipper Club (just off the square) is the Caberet show worth seeing. Everything about it is infectious, the crowd, the band, the singing...What a fun show. Everytime I go, I wonder, why don't I do this more often?? It was started by Joy Dragland, a stunning performer who has moved onto bigger and brighter things in NYC. We miss her dearly here in Madison.





This is the only thing you should know before you go:
Sing with me!! (it helps if you sway with the music)
I love this song. Que Sera Sera....

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother
What will I be
Will I be pretty
Will I be rich
Here's what she said to me
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be
When I grew up and fell in loveI asked my sweetheart
What lies ahead
Will we have rainbowsDay after day
Here's what my sweetheart saidQue sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to seeQue sera, sera
What will be, will be
Now I have Children of my own
They ask their mother
What will I be
Will I be handsome
Will I be richI tell them tenderly
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be
Que Sera, Sera
This song was written for Alfred Hitchcock's 1956 re-make Of his 1934 film "The Man Who Knew Too Much" Starring Doris Day & Jimmy Stewart